Fibromyalgia, some people believe in it, some people don’t. Some people lie about it, some people feel it every day.
The beautiful joys of chronic widespread pain. You have a million ways to describe the pain, yet each description still doesn’t come close to the feeling. Stabbing, throbbing,aching,shooting,burning. Just to name a few. It’s not just in one local area of the human body, it’s all over. It’s like you’re being burned alive and your body is the nailed closed coffin. No way to escape it.
Fatigue don’t you just love it. Go to bed try and sleep it off, but for what? To wake up feeling like your body has been abused for what seems like centuries. To feel like the zombie apocalypse has actually arrived and your the main zombie.
Cognitive Dysfunction. Worrying, thinking over and over if you’ve forgotten something because you know how strong your brain fog can be. Known that your short term memory isn’t permanent, but when it happens, feel like it’s never going away.
Morning stiffness, and I wish I was talking about morning glory. You’ve got to love deciding between rolling off the bed or acting like a robot trying to get out of bed on a morning. I can’t just sit up, stretch and get out of bed. Each movement take extreme concentration and a thought process. Just to make sure you put yourself through as little pain as possible.
I don’t know if it’s just me but cramping and Muscle Spasms are my best friend at night time. I get them in the most random of places and they don’t want to just pop up once and say hi. Oh no they want a full blown conversation. Just when I think I’m about to drop off the sleep, BAM! There goes the cramping in my calf and spasm in my arm. I can’t go to the gym or do light exercises as it seems to make it worse. Even when I don’t do workout, my muscles sometimes feel like I’ve hit the gym for hours. It’s hard to keep myself fit.
If cramping and muscle spasms weren’t enough, restless Leg Syndrome wants a bit of the action to. Have you ever heard of restless arm syndrome though? On a night especially, I get the brilliant urge to throw my arms in the air to get rid of the pain……. it don’t work! I’ve thrown them around, had them in freezing cold water, boiling hot, sat on them. I’ve even had someone else go to sleep squishing then. Restless legs are one thing but arms….. that’s taking the piss.
The attractive body digestive Problems that come along with fibromyalgia are to die for! The joys of developing intolerance to food and nearly shitting yourself when your body decides to develop them out of the blue. IBS must look sooo good on me right now as it won’t go away.
I strongly feel that cognitive dysfunction and balance problems want to be best friends. Not only does your brain want you to look slightly mad, your balance want to join it by letting you walk into things like doors or knock things over.
Not only does fibro make you feel unattractive sensitivities can also make it impossible for someone to touch you slightly. The slightest touch can feel like a tickle and make it so unbearably painful. (Joking a side for a moment, I hate how sometimes the simple cuddle from my partner can be so unbearable). Just because I love the cold weather doesn’t mean I want to be cold. You’ve got to the fact that being cold make the pain a heck of a lot worse as well.
So to summarise I am walking zombie with a mushed forgetful brain, who can’t walk in a straight line, constantly in pain, throwing her arms in the air, maybe ate something she shouldn’t have so trying to get to the toilet.
I’ve tried to keep this very light hearted and make myself laugh a little but I think I’m going to write more professional sounding post when I don’t need to be up for work the next day. As it is 00:24 I best make my body sleep.
The pain is unreal and without humour right now I think I’d be in a very dark hole.